by Guest Blogger, Ann Keeler Evans
Wedding vows should be grand statements in which you commit yourself to your partner. This means they should be personal even as they are more formal than the everyday language you use when speaking to one another. You may want to be completely traditional, you may want to write your own vows, but when you’re writing, try and avoid the following seductive mistakes:
* Copy vows that you heard on tv or read in a magazine. It makes me crazy when people want to use vows from some movie stars third marriage to celebrate their own first marriage. Make promises to your beloved that reflect your plans and dreams.
* Use poetry that doesn’t mean anything to you. The tendency at weddings is to move toward mushiness. If you’re a mushy couple, celebrate that. But if you’re reserved — find something to suit you!
* Use whatever the celebrant gives you without adjusting the language to suit you. If you can’t do that, you’re working with the wrong wedding celebrant. Obedience has no place in a wedding ceremony. That’s not a romantic notion; it’s an abusive one. Women are not property; men are not infallible. You’re becoming partners.
* Be unclear what you’re promising. It’s pretty unbelievable, but there are people who show up to get married and have no idea what promises they’re about to make to their partner. Do you buy a house without reading the fine print? Love makes so much possible, but the promises you make need to be ones that are right for both of you.
* Forget to agree on what each promise means. What does cherish mean to you? What does it mean to your partner? What does it mean within the context of your marriage? What does forever mean? What do hard times mean?
Your wedding ceremony, your wedding day, your marriage demand that you take the time to figure out what you can joyfully offer one another as you commit your lives to eternal love. You have fallen in love. You want to be married to this person forever. You deserve to be married to one another forever.
Bottom Line?: Avoiding these five pitfalls will help you create wedding vows to celebrate your love in a way that a) makes sense in your wedding ceremony and b) will support the marriage to which you are committing your life. To help you do that, I’d like to invite you back to my website to receive 2 free templates for creating wedding vows that can help you create a marriage that lasts forever: http://www.annkeelerevans.org/weddings/optin
The Rev. Ann Keeler Evans – creating ceremonies to celebrate your life, your love, and your community.